Sunday, June 2, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
1 year and 1 month :)
True Love is forever, a love that never ends
as two hearts grow together as lovers.
My love for you keeps growing,
with everyday we share.
with every time i need you and find what you there
with every time you love me
with each drean you fulfill,
My love for you keeps growing and i know it always will :)
Happy 1.4433² years! :D
Friday, January 18, 2013
Times of crisis
At times like this, whzt do I do?
Let me telk you how I feel first
¤ worried sick. You just can't avoid it if you love someone and most esp when that someone is far from you.
¤ exhausted. Just tired of sayin the same things, or proving something to someone who aint just so open to understand my point of view.
¤ backfired. I think me being to concerned and too careful of him just backfired me. I was afraid of him getting hurt. Nobody would ever want that to happen to the person you love most! Now, its makin him feel bad, he thinks that I was so concerned because he wasn't doing good. But its not what it was. Its so wrong.
¤ insulted. Instead of being appreciated of my concern, it made it just look like I did the worst thing in my life.
¤ hurt. When I asked if how would he feel if i stop being concerned, he said, "nothing, just normal." It made me ask myself "what am I to you by the way? Did I not make any difference in your ltife? Am I just another ordinary person?" Nothin more to explain, its so understandable.
¤ sorry. Sorry to myself and to him. I'd rather be dumb and not care too much, than be hurting him with it.
So I was about to cry, my nose itch and my eyes became watery. But I decided not to. And not think about it. Instead of whining, I think I'll just have to change some things in order to work this out. It might be my fault anyway.
This is just so sad. I feel so bad. I want to hug him so he could hear my heartbeat and that he'd understand my true intentions, and make him feel how much I care and love him. I feel sorry for myself im so helpless. I hope and pray that he realize...
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
the last day we held each other
today, October 31 2012, last year, October 31, 2011 and the other year, November 01, 2010, all made significance in my life.. how do i say this?
remembering the past just seems to be so nice, yet so painful. i closed my eyes for i was about to sleep on the midnight of October 30, 2012. as soon as the pitch black appeared to sight, flashes of memories came back to life. what was i thinking?
yes, i miss him so much. and i am getting used to missing him, that it became my incurable disease. what was i thinking? my eyes still closed, as it became watery and tears rushed down. i was lying down to my right in a fetus form position, and then suddenly i remember how his shoulders felt in my face/head, how he smells, how comfortable it is even in the jeepneys. i remember how he grabs my head when i start to feel sleepy. and then, i wiped my tears, my eyes still closed, and put my hands under my face. i remember how his hands fit mine, how he brushed my hair out of my face, the sweat in his hands that combined mine... those hands.. my tears just cant stop. now i can hardly breathe out of my mourning.
every little piece of our memories just came rushing in my sight. i cried harder. it was a bitter-sweet torture. those memories of happiness that we shared together feels so great but the eagerness of wanting more to share with, is what makes it bitter-painful. will there be another chance of creating another memory with him again? what if there's none anymore? i cannot imagine how my life would've turned out if he weren't there. and how would it be in the future? it is more painful to imagine.
we spent this day today, reminiscing our day together the other year of the same date. oh, how much i wanted to forget the fact that it was the last day we held each other together without anybody else. if i were to go back in the past, i would never go back to this part of my life. why is "goodbye" so painful? where is the good in goodbyes? it shudders me and it scares me. i wanted to delete the part of our lives where we had to part ways. i wanted to erase them and let it not happen. but it was real. the last kiss, the last touch. the last hug. the last ride, the last moment we held each other. :"(
remembering the past just seems to be so nice, yet so painful. i closed my eyes for i was about to sleep on the midnight of October 30, 2012. as soon as the pitch black appeared to sight, flashes of memories came back to life. what was i thinking?
yes, i miss him so much. and i am getting used to missing him, that it became my incurable disease. what was i thinking? my eyes still closed, as it became watery and tears rushed down. i was lying down to my right in a fetus form position, and then suddenly i remember how his shoulders felt in my face/head, how he smells, how comfortable it is even in the jeepneys. i remember how he grabs my head when i start to feel sleepy. and then, i wiped my tears, my eyes still closed, and put my hands under my face. i remember how his hands fit mine, how he brushed my hair out of my face, the sweat in his hands that combined mine... those hands.. my tears just cant stop. now i can hardly breathe out of my mourning.
every little piece of our memories just came rushing in my sight. i cried harder. it was a bitter-sweet torture. those memories of happiness that we shared together feels so great but the eagerness of wanting more to share with, is what makes it bitter-painful. will there be another chance of creating another memory with him again? what if there's none anymore? i cannot imagine how my life would've turned out if he weren't there. and how would it be in the future? it is more painful to imagine.
we spent this day today, reminiscing our day together the other year of the same date. oh, how much i wanted to forget the fact that it was the last day we held each other together without anybody else. if i were to go back in the past, i would never go back to this part of my life. why is "goodbye" so painful? where is the good in goodbyes? it shudders me and it scares me. i wanted to delete the part of our lives where we had to part ways. i wanted to erase them and let it not happen. but it was real. the last kiss, the last touch. the last hug. the last ride, the last moment we held each other. :"(
Saturday, October 27, 2012
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