Times of crisis

At times like this, whzt do I do?

Let me telk you how I feel first
¤ worried sick. You just can't avoid it if you love someone and most esp when that someone is far from you.
¤ exhausted. Just tired of sayin the same things, or proving something to someone who aint just so open to understand my point of view.
¤ backfired. I think me being to concerned and too careful of him just backfired me. I was afraid of him getting hurt. Nobody would ever want that to happen to the person you love most! Now, its makin him feel bad, he thinks that I was so concerned because he wasn't doing good. But its not what it was. Its so wrong.
¤ insulted. Instead of being appreciated of my concern, it made it just look like I did the worst thing in my life.
¤ hurt. When I asked if how would he feel if i stop being concerned, he said, "nothing, just normal." It made me ask myself "what am I to you by the way? Did I not make any difference in your ltife? Am I just another ordinary person?" Nothin more to explain,  its so understandable.
¤ sorry. Sorry to myself and to him. I'd rather be dumb and not care too much, than be hurting him with it.

So I was about to cry, my nose itch and my eyes became watery. But I decided not to. And not think about it. Instead of whining,  I think I'll just have to change some things in order to work this out. It might be my fault anyway.

This is just so sad. I feel so bad. I want to hug him so he could hear my heartbeat and that he'd understand my true intentions, and make him feel how much I care and love him. I feel sorry for myself im so helpless. I hope and pray that he realize...